


Enjoy The Trip (See You Next Fall)

by Traincat



Category: Nextwave (Comic), The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 14:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6758503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Traincat/pseuds/Traincat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Squirrel Girls meets Nextwave, and several New York academic institutions suffer the consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enjoy The Trip (See You Next Fall)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [weakinteraction](https://archiveofourown.org/users/weakinteraction/gifts).



> You said in your letter that you were definitely up for crossovers, so I thought this might be fun to try since Squirrel Girl and Nextwave are both weird-funny, but in very different ways. You also said you shipped Doreen/Nancy, so that's here too (although not as much more than handholding)! I hope you enjoy it!

“Fall!” said Doreen with an actual twirl. It was a little tricky to execute when she wouldn’t let go of Nancy’s hand, but she managed okay. “Beautiful foliage! Leaves turning colors! The scent of those weird cinnamon pine cone things! Chestnuts roasting by an open fire –”

“That’s winter,” Nancy pointed out.

“Apple cider! Cute scarves!” Doreen continued on blissfully. “Frolicking squirrels, hoarding nuts for the long, cold winter!”

“Is that why there are all those bags of walnuts under our bed?” Nancy asked.

“And!” Doreen said, swinging their hands between them. “Classes are back, Nancy!”

“I’m going to remind you that you said that like it was a pro next month when you’re crying in the library,” Nancy said, squeezing Doreen’s hand. “Doreen, _summer_ is obviously the best season.”

This past summer had involved a long week of lounging in Doreen’s mom’s backyard on old deck chairs, soaking up the sun and drinking homemade lemonade as they watched Mew and Tippy frolic in the garden, and also one tiny little time-traveling incident with Cable and an apocalyptic future. Tippy had been so cute with her giant-for-a-squirrel (regular-for-a-person) sized gun, even though Doreen and Tippy were both staunchly opposed to gun violence. Luckily, they’d managed diffuse the situation through the three great Cs: Conversation, Compromise, and that one face Cable made.

Objectively, this past summer had been pretty great.

“Tail sweat,” Doreen argued anyway, just to watch Nancy roll her eyes.

There was a weird noise coming from the building. Doreen strained her ear, trying to make it out – it was a sort of _tic tic tic_ -

_BOOM!_

Doreen and Nancy rocked with the small explosion, Doreen twisting so she was in front of Nancy, her arm thrown over her eyes. When the dust cleared, there was no longer a wall there. Confused students blinked at each other, but luckily no one seemed hurt. Doreen breathed a sigh of relief.

That relief lasted up until she spotted the woman in the bright orange pants cocking a shot gun.

“Summer,” Nancy said, staring ahead with the kind of resignation only a CS major who was friends with a lot of animal-themed superheroes could muster. “Summer is the best season.”

“Razza frazza,” mumbled Doreen, rolling up her sleeves. “Where’s a phone booth when you need one?”

* * *

 

“ZOMG!” a blonde woman in a kickin’ red boysuit shouted when Squirrel Girl hit the scene. She pointed straight at Doreen. “It’s Wombat Woman!”

“ZOMG?” Nancy repeated with scorn. “Really?”

“Get our - these classmates out of here, helpful citizen who really should be more offended about the Wombat Woman part!” Doreen said to her. Nancy flipped her the double thumbs up, nodding, and sprang into action.

“What are you doing so far from Australia?” Kickin’ Bodysuit Lady asked, making big eyes Doreen’s way.

“It’s Squirrel Girl, actually?” Doreen said. “And I live here in New York?”

“Aren’t squirrels just, like, a kind of wombat?” said Kickin’ Bodysuit Lady, snapping her gum.

“They’re actually pretty different!” Doreen said, gesturing. “You see, squirrels are –”

“Getting off track, SG,” Tippy whispered in Doreen’s ear.

“Right!” Doreen said. Shotgun Orange Pants was now standing by Kickin’ Bodysuit. They were both very tall and had very good hair. Doreen was regretting the fact that she’d looked in the mirror that morning and went ‘eh’ about brushing her own. “First off, I’m really going to need everyone to cease and desist on the whole ‘attacking a college’ thing – especially during school hours! Secondly, I think we should all gather around and talk this out.”

A man in a star t-shirt came up behind the two women. He was eating three hot dogs at once.

“Sorry, kid,” he said, still chewing. “Nextwave don’t talk things out.”

Nextwave sounded pretty familiar.

Doreen dug in her belt and came up with one of the cards from the Deadpool’s Guide To Supervillains: Heroes Who Used To Work For Real Evil Terrorist Organizations expansion pack. Doreen had to appreciate the sort of detail Deadpool put into these things. She came up with a handful of cards.

> The Captain  
>  \- His name is The Captain  
>  FUN FACT: He owes me money.

“Well that’s not super helpful,” Doreen said to herself, squinting.

“I got a trading card?” The Captain said, leaning over Doreen’s shoulder. He did not, she noted, smell super great. “Ellie, Tabby – I got a trading card!”

“How incredibly thrilling for you,” Orange Pants Woman – Elsa Bloodstone, Immortal Monster Hunter, Fun Fact: Circumcised the hideous Felch-Monster of Bihar Province with a baby spoon! Now that is talent! – said. “Now get the dean and let’s reveal him for the vile little otherwordly imposter he is, shall we? Tick tock, darling.”

“This is an institute of learning!” Doreen said, gesturing towards its classrooms, its towers, its cafeteria with the weird green thing she couldn’t identify.

The Captain spat on the ground. “An institute of learning ran over my grandpops.”

“And I am very sorry for your loss!” Doreen shouted, grabbing Elsa’s arm before she could storm the place. Ignoring the profanity, she continued, “Even though that does not sound like a super plausible thing that could actually happen to someone!”

“Definitely not,” chittered Tippy.

“Did your hamster just yell at me?” The Captain asked, eyebrows raised real high.

“Hamster?!” Doreen and Tippy yelled together.

“Hamster?!” Tomas echoed, rushing onto the scene with Ken following quick behind.

“Chipmunk Hunk! Koi Boi!” Doreen said, attempting to get a much taller woman into a headlock. “We could really use an assist!”

“I will go alert our fish friends immediately!” Ken said.

“Yeah, or like,” Doreen said, “maybe get the Machine Man trying to scale that wall?”

Deadpool’s Guide To Supervillains: Not Really Supervillains But Have Definitely Shot Some Broccoli People expansion pack had been helpful there, too:

> Machine Man  
>  \- His name is Aaron Stack.  
>  \- Super handy if you left your swiss army knife at home.  
>  \- One time he met the Celestials and they called him a capital L Loser.  
>  FUN FACT: He reorganized my sock drawer!

Doreen didn’t want to accuse Deadpool of a) dropping the ball or b) selling out on this expansion pack, but a little more info might have been nice. She’d have to politely pass the message along through Cable next time she ran into him in an apocalyptic future.

Ken nodded and immediately sprinted over to grab Aaron by the ankles. Doreen loved her friends.

Something streaked across the sky: not a bird or a plane, just an angry-looking woman in a trenchcoat that matched the rest of Nextwave’s. Doreen didn’t need to dig out the card this time.

“Oh my gosh,” she said, grasping Tomas by the elbow. “It’s _Captain Marvel_.”

“Wait,” called Ken from where he was trying to pry Machine Man off the wall. “I thought Captain Marvel was from New Jersey?”

“No, that’s Miss Marvel,” Tomas corrected. “But I thought Captain Marvel was blonde and in space.”

“That’s the _other_ Captain Marvel,” Doreen said, starry-eyed.

Nancy jogged up to meet them, shading her eyes against the bright streak of Captain Marvel in the sky. “What are we arguing about?”

“Captain Marvel, Nancy!” Doreen said, grabbing her by the arm and pointing.

“I think she goes by Photon now,” Nancy said.

They all braced themselves for impact as Monica Rambeau landed in a picture-perfect hero pose. Doreen might’ve swooned just a little bit. Tomas definitely did swoon, more than a little bit.

“Aaron!” Monica said, hands at her hips. “Why are you wrestling a teenager in tights and not bringing me the slimy hell creature intent on the destruction of this country’s education system –”

Elsa snorted. Monica shot her a look and flapped a hand, “My point, people, is I thought I’d have a lizard man in a fancy suit begging for our tender mercies right about now.”

“Tell that to the fuzzy woodland creatures trying to chew on my head!” Aaron said, flailing with chipmunks, squirrels, and Ken in his wake.

Monica put her hand over her face. “I want a new team.”

“Excuse me, Ms. Rambeau?” Doreen said, raising a hand. “Squirrel Girl here, and can I just say: slimy hell creature? Destruction of the American education system? This sounds extremely serious!”

“Well something should be,” Monica said, hand still over her eyes, “because my life is a joke.”

“But I think, despite the gravity of the situation, we should probably try to keep the property damage to a minimum,” Doreen said, waving her hands. “Because after all, the goal here is to save education! And if nobody can get to class because ESU got wrecked or set on fire or eaten by a monster again…”

“Wait,” Tabby said, finger to her chin. “ESU? Weren’t we supposed to go to the other one?”

Monica peaked through her fingers, glowering. “NYU?”

“Yeah!” said Tabby brightly.

Monica breathed out a long, frustrated sigh.

“HUDDLE UP!” she shouted. Everyone huddled up, except Doreen, who didn’t want to intrude on a private team moment. Tomas, a social butterfly, had no such reservations. (“Chipmunks,” chittered Tippy, disapprovingly.)

Nextwave talked things over amongst themselves for several long, terse, and colorfully spoken moments.

The Captain straightened up, looked Doreen in the eyes and said, “Our GPS sucks.”

“Distance is a useless human concept,” sniffed Aaron, arms crossed defensively.

“That is definitely not true,” Ken said. “Fish take distance very seriously.”

“I eat fish for breakfast,” declared Aaron, robot nose in the air.

“Gross!” Tabby stuck out her tongue, as The Captain reminisced, “I was Captain Herring once. Brooklyn, y'know? Did not go down great with the rabbi.”

“Are you really a robot?” Tomas asked, squinting at Aaron.

“Remove your shapely hands from my robothood, fleshy one,” Aaron replied, even though Tomas’s hands were nowhere near any part of him.

“That’s okay,” said Tomas, edging behind Ken.

“Excuse me,” Nancy said to Elsa, “but I think I’m in love with your boots.”

“You’re fucking right you are, darling,” said Elsa, tossing her hair. Nancy looked like she was caught somewhere between wanting to punch Elsa and wanting to be her, which Doreen completely understood. She looped her arm through Nancy’s, just to be safe, and gestured for Tomas to get the other one.

“Alright,” said Monica. “Everyone back in the floating fortress. We’re going to NYU. That giant lightning-spitting salamander ninja wizard isn’t going to defeat itself.”

“Should we… go with them?” Tomas asked, watching as they left with much dramatic coat-flapping.

Doreen shrugged. “I’ve never seen a lightning-spitting salamander ninja wizard. Plus, it couldn’t hurt to be a voice of reason.”

“I want to know where they get those coats from,” Nancy said. Ken nodded.

They went with them.

* * *

 

Three hours, one giant lightning-spitting salamander ninja wizard in a business suit, and minimal property damage to NYU later, Doreen wrung out her skirt (the lightning-spitting salamander ninja wizard could also cry thunderstorms) and said, cheerily, “Well, _that_ was a day!”

Everyone else grumbled an assent.

“Y’know I’ve been thinking,” The Captain said, rubbing the back of his head. “Maybe I should go back to school, maybe turn my life around… I could do that, right?”

“Nah,” Tabby said, checking her phone.

“Absolutely not,” said Elsa, checking her gun.

“Well, I thought it was a nice idea,” Doreen said, checking her acorn earrings. She lost more acorn earrings fighting crime, she swore, than anywhere else. When the silence got a little awkward, she added, “Anyone hungry?”

“I could eat,” Tabby said. Nancy and Ken nodded.

“Will there be beer?” Aaron asked.

“Let’s go to Avengers Island,” Doreen said. “There’s something for everyone!”

“The Avengers have an island now?” Monica asked, before sighing. “We didn’t have an island when I ran –”

“THE FUCKING AVENGERS!” her whole team chorused, just as Doreen said, “You ran the Avengers?!”

“Walk with me, kid,” Monica said, slinging her arm over Doreen’s shoulders.


End file.
